Why Intentional {Present}ness?

Scenario One: I look up and realize that, once again, the numbers on the top right-hand corner of my work computer keep creeping upward, minute by minute, getting closer six o'clock. I should have left an hour ago. I'll just finish this one last thing, I tell myself, knowing that it's going to be at least another 20 minutes before I leave. Just a couple more minutes, I hear myself saying to my husband over the phone when he calls to find out if I'm on my way home, feeling somewhat guilty since the window of time we have to spend together this evening is quickly disappearing. Guilt that is completely justified because what I'm currently working on can wait until tomorrow. Work won't fall apart if it doesn't get done today. And yet it's so hard to press the pause button and let it sit until the morning.

Scenario Two: Today I had the foresight to mention to my husband the possibility of us having lunch together as I worked from my makeshift office at a local restaurant (gotta love that free Internet) and as he went from one job to the next in the middle of the afternoon. And so here we sit, facing one another and staring deeply into...our computer screens. I have to ask him to repeat his question to me when I can tear my eyes from what I'm working on. And then I have to ask him to repeat it again since I'm still trying to balance my brain between work-mode and having a conversation with my husband. It's nice to spend some time with you, he tells me, only half jokingly. Because we both know the reality.

The reality is that this happens way too often. Did you know that you can spend a lot of time doing something or being with someone without truly being there? How many times do you go to work, not fully prepared for the day, only to realize midday that you've done nothing substantial all day long? Or how often is your mind on work when you're at home? More times that I can count, Jamie and I have been home together without ever really being together. Because we're working on other things. And so I've found that we're constantly having to reevaluate our priorities and be consistent about setting aside time when we're not thinking about work, what needs to be done to the house, the dishes that need cleaning, or even that Facebook message I need to send to a friend I haven't spoken to in a while.

I'll be the first one to admit it - I have a hard time reassigning my focus throughout the day. I'm a hard worker by nature and it is easy for me to get caught up in the workday and forget, well, everything else. And sometimes it's hard to ignore the pile of laundry in the corner when we're trying to spend some quality time together as a couple.

So here's the premise for this blog. Yes, it's about my life, but even more so, it's about my constant desire to live a life that's intentionally present - in every aspect. Because I think we can often be too busy trying to live life that we forget that we're meant to experience it. And then we miss moments of beauty like this one:

And this one:

(Taken the day we celebrated our fourth anniversary on our walk at sunset).